Shining Through

So I have been extremely blessed this past month beyond belief. I have made one of my best friends in the world and I constantly thank God so much for her. As much as I know I have been there for her, the same if not more, I know she has been here for me. She constantly challenges me to be a stronger Christian. Even before she was a Christian she made me want to grow in my faith. And now that I can confidently say that she is going to be in Heaven with me, I am equally challenged by her. She makes me want to show people love like Jesus would and be there for them even when it looks hopeless. The way she has turned her life around constantly encourages me with the fact that with God all things are possible and all people can be changed with the love of God. It just baffles me, every time, with how fast you can love someone and never want anything bad to ever happen to them. And when something bad happens or they are upset you hurt and become emotional for them and their pain.

Well she has been gone for fall break now for 5 days and I have hated not being able to see her like I usually could. Skype just isn't the same as having her here. I was super nervous about her going home, because of all the temptations that would be around her. But of course my doubt was uncalled for as usual. She totally conquered it all and was on such a God high that she couldn't help but smile which equally made it impossible for me not to smile. Seeing my friends consumed with the love of Jesus is just something that never gets old to me.

After a couple good days there is always a fall right? So it came hard core for me today and wouldn't you know for her also. I have been having trouble with a class and after receiving an e-mail this morning it started my day off sucky. Then I went to Sioux City with my sister to shop and pick up another friend and me and Ash fought the whole way there. With her saying some things that were very hurtful and upsetting. On the way home me and my friend talked and it was good but with the talk I realized some points in my life where I was failing and that I missed the date yesterday of when my friend died a year ago. And through all of this I knew my other friend was having a bad day also and that I could not be there for her. With all of this going through my mind I started falling and falling fast. I have not been at that place for a long time and now again I remember how much I hate it.

I am good now but I hate that I just get that way. And most of all I hate that I couldn't be there for my friend today. She was having a terrible day and I was hours away. I hate that feeling most of all. The one were I feel completely helpless. I already felt like a failure and then I felt like I was failing as this friendship today. All I could do from hours away was pray and send her bible verses and I know that in some instances that just doesn't help them feel as good as having someone physically there for them.

Well I don't know were this post was going but here is where I have been today and where I have disappeared the last month. It has been one of the greatest months of my life and every single day I thank God for it. Through the sorrows and pain of life I know God will shine through.

‎"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail." -Lamentations 3:22

Praise the God!

He is Compassionate.