Overwhelmed

I seriously can not explain the way I have felt the last week. It is a mix between complete exhaustion and utter happiness. The things God has shown me has left me absolutely speechless. I love how He can take the struggles that I have been having since I moved back to Wayne and shatter them on the ground. Yes, occasionally I will still see the struggles come at me face to face but the battle sword of God is drawn and I am now ready and strong enough to fight it again.

This last week I have been beyond blessed. There is just no other way I can think to phrase that. I have met beyond amazing people and I have been in complete amazement at how the Lord is using me, (if at all) I guess I like to think He is in this area anyway. :) He has put these amazing people in my life and every single day I am being challenged. Challenged to love more, be more understanding, and never lose hope that the things that seem impossible can happen. These people consume my mind in prayer. I pray that I can be of any help to them, that they can see the joy I have with the Lord, and that they themselves will understand how that joy can become possible to them as much as it is to me. They are more than worth it and they are beyond wanted by Jesus. That no matter where they are in their life they can come as they are and be redeemed by the blood of Jesus and the love that God shows and showed us, day to day.

As to the it being so exhausting, here are some of the reasons: I am working crazy hours. I have worked the last 2 weekends until 2a.m. and then work every Monday until 2a.m and of course have to work this weekend also. So with those hours I am so tired. Plus then of course those nights I am not working I am still up until at least 2 spending time investing in my friends lives or trying extremely hard to catch up on homework and next day test. And among the physical exhaustion there is the complete mental drainage. I am constantly pouring myself out and being more vulnerable than I think I have ever been in my life and it is absolutely killing me. To the point that I can not help but break down, be emotional, and crying. I have been pushed to the limits in so many areas that I have come to a spot were all I can do is rely solely on God (which is great but can be hard). I know that I am going to be alright and this exhaustion will seize to consume my life but until then I am just going to keep praying, day in and day out for someone to come into my life to fill me, for strength and energy, and most importantly for faith that it is all going to glorify God in the end.

Praise the Lord!

He is a challenging God.